Saturday, July 31, 2010
I woke up in the middle of the Night feeling Insecure
Darkness around me all of a sudden
I couldn't feel the fresh Air around me
I couldn't see the whirling fan or the Dim table -lamp
All i could ever see was Darkness ..
I couldn't think about things that usually occupy me
I couldn't text my friends or even talk to them
I couldn't continue reading my favorite book
The Music that i usually listen to seemed mute
The awesome football game between my favorite teams seemed blank
But There was a definite calmness around me
I felt like i was floating on some water body
Whenever i felt Hungry it seemed like the food reached down to me
To satisfy my Hunger ...
It seemed like someone was holding me onto them
I could feel them Moving carefully .... Cos i was holding onto them
I could feel their happiness whenever i moved
I didn't really Know Who i really was ......... Everything seemed to forget ...
It all seemed like a miracle n there was Peace all around me ..
There was a sudden Cry of Pain
I was yearning to tell her that I never wanted to hurt her this way
I really wanted to Cry out my Promise to her that i'll never give her any more pain in life
I could feel myself moving
I could feel the water body that was holding me getting completely drained off
I could see myself moving slowly towards Bright Light
I could sense somebody Pushing me out
I could see HER hold on me withdrawing itself
I couldn't open my eyes or feel anything for a moment or so
I felt someone slapping me hard
I suddenly came back to my senses n realised who i really was
I cried out My promise to my Mom that i will never ever Hurt her again in life
I could see her physical pains draining off as soon as i cried my promise out to her
She laid me close to her ... on her Heart filled with Love
I could feel her kissing all over me ...
Well really wished to die on her lap cos i wanted her to be my start n end ....
Maa ....... Thanks for bearing me amidst all your Physical n mental pains ......
I promise to be yours forever ..... Never will i leave u maa .......
I wana hold you in my Heart for Eternities together
Never wana miss You even if its for a While
You know why my life is so beautiful
Cos You come in right away n Fill it with Love,Love n lots of Love...
Hug me harder for my worries to die
Hold me up for my tears to dry
Love me girl, For my loneliness to fly away ..
Your Pains are Mine
Your Sorrows n Tears are Mine
I'am really Selfish when it comes to Loving You
I'am really Happy that this World calls it "Possessiveness"
I can feel u deep within me every little second
No God's can ever explain this feeling between us
Is this what we call Love ...............?
Well ... It is something more than Love
Something more than even the God can define
It is something more than Love,God or Humanity.
It can only exist between u n me ..
Cos You are bing Yourself n am being Myself n
We are being Ourselves together.
I keep myself awake every night just to Watch u Sleep
I empty my thoughts just to listen to You
I keep myself blank for You to fill me up ..
I keep myself awake just to look into Your Most beautiful eyes n say
"I Love You"
My mornings Miss You
My Evenings Seeks You
Where were You all these days ........................ ?
A Lifetime is never gonna be Enough to Love You
Lots of Unsaid Love still remains deep into my Heart
Take me with You
I belong with You..... Now n Forever ........
Friday, July 30, 2010
I saw my Angel the Moment I met Her
Her Beauty so Enchanting,Refined, Eloquent, Pure n Divine
Her eyes so Hypnotizing
Her face so Refreshing
Her Perfume still smells on Me
Her Beautiful Dark Hair, Darker than the Darkest of Nights
Her Skin so soft, Delicate n Bright
Her Figure, So feminine, Pleasing n Delightful
Her beautiful Shyness that always belonged to me
Well ... She was truly Beautiful n Delicate
We Spoke, Shared, Cared, Laughed n Cried in our own World
Her Mind, So Profound, An Articulation of speech so Rare
A friend in Joy
A Comfort when i was in tears
My Worst Enemy at Fights ( Love)
Well .. My Lav was all i can ever ask for.
Time was too short, An Eternity desired
A Love Lost
A Dream Entrenched, Oh how sweet She was ... Even in my Dreams
She's the Dream of Dreams
The Thought of her Startles my Deep Sleep
I awake only to see that am all Alone again n Forever
Without Realising that she's Gone forever
Gone with the Wind
To make Life Beautiful for Gods
Where are You my Lav ....................... ?
Beneath the sands of time ............?
Inside the Womb of Mother Earth .?
Our Story once Lived
A Dream once Believed
Wishing for a last Kiss, One last Word, One last Hug n One last Love...
All Unsaid Love is still yearning to be Yours
Waiting to be in Your Arms- As Your Beautiful Love...
We were the Most Beautiful Love on Earth
Cos We Only Belonged To You n Me ...
Rest In Peace Lavina
I will keep Loving You Forever
With the Pain of Missing You in My Heart
Our Beautiful Memories bringing Smiles n Tears Together
Love You So Much My Lav ............................................
I will forever remain Yours .......
Rest In Peace
Friday, July 23, 2010
A Broken Heart is what i feel
It leads to flowing tears
The sorrow from this Loneliness
Gives way to deeper fears ..
I'am hurt from inside
After i lost you to the Gods
I'am asking to myself
How could this end so suddenly ............... ?
I felt like i could Die ..
It wasn't very Long ago
That You n Me Embraced each other
It feels like only yesterday
And my soul's displaced now
I'am trying to find a peaceful thought
Where we and our Love were so strong
But in the Absence of You
I'am Literally dying every second to be with You.
For all the times we've Kissed
For all the times we've Laughed
For all the times we've Hugged
For all the times we've Loved
For all the times we've cried
For all the times we've lived beautifully
Your touch is what I've missed ..
I hope there comes a day
When our truest Love will re-unite in the Heaven
That day I'll wipe away my Lonely tears
Those tears that'd been wetting my pillows every night
Waiting to come back to You
To re-unite with the Love of my Life ..... You ........
Our Love is truely Unbreakable ........
This can never be a Good-Bye
Even as i watch You leave this Physical World of Ours
Flowers being thrown all the way till Your Grave
My heart's full of thorns just cos i couldn't be with You Now
I really Hope you REST IN PEACE
This world can never forget You and Our Love ...
I really hope You don't see my tears of pain
I wish You were here to heal my heart just once more
Whenever i close my eyes, there's an Image of Your Face
I cry my heart out
Realizing that You can never be replaced in my Heart
I keep telling myself that You are my Heart-beat forever
When that becomes wrong, I'll be there with You
Proving my Love for You once again
By being with You forever....
Miss you my Love
In my heart
In my Beat
In my Smile
In my Happiness and In in Body n Soul .......
Hey My Love
I've been feeling terribly Lonely
Since the day You were Gone
Why did You have to leave me .......... ?
You were the Only One in my Heart
Your memories will Live on Forever and Ever
Walks down our beautiful city
Where our Love was Young and Free
Looks empty without You and Our Love
I would give my Life Away
If i ever have the chance of starting it all over again
With You My Love
I can never stop the voice Inside of Me
Thats been calling out Your name every Moment
Hey Girl, I would die this very moment only to be
Reborn and keep loving You the way i do
In all my Bloody Births to come
Miss You My Love .....
I say a lot a prayers for You to come back to me
From Your Grave ...
I really hope my dreams will take me to You
Where the skies are blue and the leaves are green
To see You once again
Over the sea's from Earth to Heaven
To find the place We Loved the Most
I'am just holding onto You a bit Longer
Reaching for the Love that seems an eternity away
Only to be yours all over again
Miss You My Love ...
Monday, July 12, 2010
I broke into pieces
Fell into the burning flame of Loneliness
Fell from the Height of our Love
You told me that you were going to Heaven
Without even realizing
My Heaven would be a Hell without You
If you could see me now
You will see how
I fail to even survive the "Tomorrows of my life"
Need you so madly Baby
I Miss you so much more than the words can ever mean..
I cry inside of Me
I cry cos i Miss my Heart thats in You
I cry Hopelessly
Cos I know that
I can never breathe your Love again
My mind always wonders
Why did i ever let things slip away ......?
I just can't stand another day without you Baby
This feeling without you is hurting me so badly
Please come back to me n let me be yours again .
I know i can't wake up for tomorrow without you near me
I come by your Grave n spend time with you everyday
I cry out loud hoping that You would come out of it
to wipe my tears n heal my Heart just once more
Baby .. When i promised I will always be with you n
Never part from you even in Death ...
Y did i let you go ???????
I miss you baby ... With tears in my eyes n My Broken Heart Bleeding you love every moment.
Pleaseeeeee come back me ...
I'll never let u go this time ... I Swear ....
I wanna be yours forever ... even in Death.
I'am Crying forever
Cos I Know I can never breathe your Love Again.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Things have changed forever
Time has stood still
No longer am'i the little girl that i used to be
The memories will remain close in my Heart, But the Innocence is gone forever
Through time, marriage, children, So much knowledge about life has been gained
And yet so many questions still remain Unanswered
Will the answers ever unfold ....................?
Attitude and thoughts are now conceived so differently
Who are the real friends and who are the real enemies ....... ?
Who and what are the real Priorities ......?
Will i still lose myself in trying to do things for everyone else ................?
I think not ..
The most valuable lesson life has taught me
My soul needs nourishing too
But which path should i take to do so ....? Only i can decide that.
The impact might be great but i will stay strong till the end
I now carry myself in a different way
Some say for good n others say for worse
As long as i remember the wounds of the past n things that have come out of it
I will be the only one who can things about me ..
Its my life n i live it my way.
Emotions are so high, and so low, and in between
I run fast n chase them all day long
Never really knowing which one s going to be mine
At this point n time of my life, I have been put to a Stern test
But i really know i can give it my best shot
There are thoughts that i still hold on to
There are angels still guiding me through the right path as ever
I do know that there will always be a CALM after a STORM
which my life is now
I do know that Tomorrow will b a new day for me .... With a new sunrise
And each person that has true passion n Unconditional love for me
Will stand by me n hold me whenever i fall.
Though wounded by things that have happened in my till now
I know i still have my saving Grace
I shall be aware, and full prepared to face the years ahead of me
They will bring more change
Is that not what time is after-all supposed to do ???
Heal my heart once again
But i know i can survive even if the little girl in me had disappeared
I can still reflect back on the Wonderful memories i had
After all if it had not been for her, I could never be the Woman that i'am now
Even though her memories will always haunt me.
Now is the time to say Good-bye to the Innocence of my Child-hood
And really concentrate and savor the Innocence of my Woman-hood.
Woman-hood is always a pride n Be proud to be a Woman.
An Extract From My Mail ..
Whenever I wanna smile
There's always a drop of tear reminding You
Reminding the fact that You're Gone
Gone with the Wind .. Too Far
Out of my reach.
Does those tears tell u something ...........?
Something that i've been yearning to tell u
To tell you that my heart is missing a beat every little moment without You
To tell you that You'e my Happiness n i miss my smile ever since you were gone
To tell you that i always Love being yours n only yours
To tell you that i love it " when u were mine"
To tell you that I'll keep loving you till my soul stops breathing.
Every-time the clock ticks
My mind starts thinking about you
It really pains so much to even think you're gone
So much that my brain keeps telling me that "I MISS HER"
Whenever i see happy couples together
I cry out Happy tears cos i see " us in them "
Its always such a pride to even think that You're mine
I wanna thank you for being "mine in me" ....
You defined my love n let me define yours
Together we defined True Love
Something that is rare n pure
Something that belonged only to us
Whenever i think about you sitting alone with the angels in the heaven above me
My eyes cry out bloody tears
My heart misses a beat every second
Wish i could be there with you ...
Let the Angels in the Heaven wait for a moment
Let the moment turn into an Eternity
Waiting for you to come back to me
Be mine forever .. heal my heart one more
Touch me n let my pain disappear
Look deep into me n keep pumping your love into me
Yearning to hold you in my arms n tell you how much you mean to me ..
Waiting for our lips to hide into each others
The Gods don't deserve you up there in the heaven
Its me who needs u so madly n badly
Wanna be yours for eternities together
Waiting for you to come back to me
My eyes are wet
My words stammer
My walk is crippled
My heart is broken
Make me yours one again n never let me go
Love you so much baby ....... more than words can ever mean.
Will you come back to me ......???????
Will you be mine forever ........???????
Waiting for you ........With Broken Heart n Teary Eyes.
Friday, July 9, 2010
I was crying tears of Pain
As i pushed you into the world
As i pushed you from the darkness of my womb to the bright world outside me.
I'am now crying tears of Relief to see u born alive when i was reborn as your Mother
I'am crying the tears of Love to see you smile when i held you for the first time
I'am now crying the tears of Arrogance and Pride as i keep looking at your divinely beautiful face
I'am now crying the tears of Happiness as you nurse my breasts for the first time
I'am now crying the tears of Satisfaction as you were able to finally locate my tender feminism
and suck them hard for your feed.
The way your tiny fingers fondle my body
The way your soft lips suck my feminism
The way you look at me after a satisfied meal
Only a Mother like me can feel the Heaven on Earth
I felt so much pleasure when you used to crawl inside my womb and i feel the same pleasure
as you crawl into me every time you fall asleep.
Every time i take you for a bath, Your cute Naughtiness wet me fully
I pray God that the warm water shouldn't hurt my little one
Every time i take you in my arms, Your beautiful smiles and little whispers tell me that you
love being in my arms as my little one
Every time i feed you, The way you take on me
Hmmm ... You bring out the beautiful Mother in me
Every time i hold your hands, You seem to tell me
"Hey mummy i'll never let this hold leave me, I'll be yours forever"
Every time i kiss your white paws, I feel your purity n the softness in you
Your soft touches
Deep hard bites
Marks left by your tiny nails
Every little thing that you do to me make me the proudest Mother that i'am today.
Your teary eyes when I cry and Your Big smile when i smile tells me that
" You'll always be there for me, No matter what happens".
I feel so pure when i touch your tender parts n change diapers for you day n night
I forget my pain when i see your faintest smile
Your eager eyes searching for me when your hungry. Though I love it
i would never let hunger strike you even if its for a second
I would laugh at my stupidity when i go for shopping and imagine you in every cute dress that i see
forgetting that you are still a day's old baby
The toys that am going to buy for you would fill this little world of ours
I used to admire nature before you were born but now .. It seems so dull n unattractive.
You are the most beautiful thing i will ever see in my life
I've heard Angels make life beautiful for people on earth n started experiencing is since the moment
I was holding you in me.
I really hope You understand the Yearnings of this Crazy Mother of yours.
Love You Kiddie
Thank You for making me feel a Mother,
Her Legs part wide, Stretched
Pain ripped through her stomach
Her eyes half closed n her voice Dying out
It felt like She pushed herself out of her own body
She couldn't feel my head out
She felt something burning at the other end of her body
Darkness prevailed and her eyes closed
She could sense Me moving inside her
Time had no real meaning, It was an Eternity
Hands held tight n aching muscles pained her
Body pushing through body
A chord twisted and finally tore
A single wail of breathe
A new moment of glory
I was Born
Thanks maa ..... For giving me life n showing me what love is all about.
Take a bow maa ..... Your Motherhood stands out n I promise
I'll always be yr worthy Kiddie ... Love u maa ... so much .....
Each Night before I go to bed
I fold my hands and bow my head
Praying for the family thats gonna make me theirs
Waiting for the day SHE will come for me
I ask God to watch over my friends at the Orphanage
The place that i call my Temple
Wishing everyone of us finds families and relationships\
To share n care ..
I finish my prayers and get ready to sleep
With a hope that God would look at us soon
My prayers usually are my Dreams at nights
Hoping that she will be standing there for me
When i wake up to the brightness of her face
In a hope that one fine day , My name would be called
And i would jump off my bed and run towards the
Wonderful SHE i was waiting for ......
I would hug her.. shouting out " Oh mummy, oh mummy"
I've been waiting for U all these days..
And that she would reply " Yes my darling!
I've come to take u home"
I will love you, Protect you n cherish u till my end"
I will always be your love n care".
She would look at me with teary eyes n whisper deep into my ears
" I love u so much my baby" The words that ve been eluding me since
the moment i was born.
She held my hands gently n i held her with all my might
In the fear of being let alone again.
Hand in hand.. We walked together,
Deep emotions encircle me as I leave my temple
With my God.
I promised my friends that i would go n visit them every weekend
with my maa ..
Thus i found my life n let my mother find her happiness in me.
Love u maa ..
With sweet and tender Kisses
Our Souls reached out
In Breathless Wonder
And when i awake
From a vast n a smiling peace
I found You bathed in the Morning Light
All the messages on my phone.
I'll Love You now n Forever.
One song can spark a moment.
One flower can wake the dream.
One tree can start a forest.
One bird can herald spring.
One smile begins a friendship.
One handclasp lifts a soul.
One star can guide a ship at sea.
One word can frame the goal.
One vote can change a nation.
One sunbeam lights a room.
One candle wipes out darkness.
One laugh will conquer gloom.
One step must start each journey.
One word must start a prayer.
One hope will raise our spirits.
One touch can show you care.
One voice can speak with wisdom.
One heart can know what is true.
One Life can make a difference.